My mind is scattered. Maybe its supposed to be that way so I don't think or remember. To be just like this forever. How can I do what needs to be done when my heart says no not again. Should I choose a job just for the sake of a job and be unhappy an unemployed again a years line down? I don't want to do that again. I am not sure I want to be in the field I am in again and I keep getting offer for jobs my skills are less than steller in. I suck in the financial department They dont honestly want to hire me though I can make them think i am perfect for the job probably. Its not in my heart though so what is?
Okay so I am trying this all blending into socitey thing once again.I am not very good at it. Trying to find new work. after being at a job previously for 1year that I felt I totally sucked at. Now as I am looking I see possible jobs yet I fear no I wont be good at that or no I cant even fathom I could do that kind of job. What has happened to me!! How did i get like this and think so less in myself and in my skills?
I feel I am in a stand still. I dont know to do. Scared in what I should do. That others will approve. Im an not like the others. But no one only a few can see. What is really inside of me. I ca n't do this alone and I want to be free. to escape and go back to my reality that is me. Not what someone else wants me to be. Im doing my best but apparently it not good enough for some.
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